The war between self-confidence and self-sabotage...

To those who are unaware of my somewhat chequered background and personal upheaval in my teens and 20s, I was, in spite of it all, an extremely self-confident person. However, my upbringing I had implanted within me intrusive and toxic forces such as self doubt, and a lingering sense feeling undeserving of good fortune. This constituted what we know as self-sabotage. So my Being exists between an indomitable and happy self-confidence, and a sinister sense of the self-destructive.

But what I have learned from both personal experience, and from counseling clients, is that confidence is so much a part of us that it literally functions as a natural drive. This innate confidence goes to battle against all-comers and seeks to conquer everything from self-loathing to self-doubt. Why else do we complain of these ailments if they were natural to our being? That is because they are not...self-confidence is!

But while coming to this remarkable realisation, I also learned that the demon of self-sabotage deserves as much respect as one’s inner confidence for it functions as a guide for one’s self-confidence to emerge triumphant. In other words, an awareness of what makes us ‘tick’, will inevitable lead down the pathway of self-confident and constructive solutions to problems which feed off the energy of self-sabotage.

My approach towards self-sabotage may surprise when you learn of it. I send it my love...that’s right...I send my self-sabotaging self love! There is nothing unique in this approach since we know of global icons such as Mahatma Ghandi and Martin Luther King who both confronted violence and hate with pacifism and love! And look who came out the winners of those battles of good against evil...the sentiment of love, right?

I know from experience that love conquers all. Yes...violence has its place...along with anger and hate. They are human actions and emotions inherent to our Being. But when the dust has settled, love...like self-confidence...emerges the winner! So as I sit here today fluctuating between morbid self-pity and sense of self-sabotage looming on the horizon, my self-confidence has powerful spiritual tools with which to do battle!

The MENTORSHIP principles (I explain what these entails in great detail in a later blog) are what I use to nurture my self-confidence and pacify my self-sabotaging self with love. One of these principles involves nurturing and maintaining one’s Integrity from which emerges one’s self-confidence. By so doing one acquaints one’s self with another one of the 4 Powers which is Authenticity. Most ‘self’ or ‘personal’ development theory encourages us to show compassion to one self.

I agree. But compassion...as with love...minus a spiritual dimension is like a body minus a soul...pointless. One cannot go into battle with self-sabotage unless one possesses a sense of Integrity and Authenticity. In later blog entries we will explore in finer detail how to arrive at a place of self-awareness and peace...with self-sabotage. Only then will we be capable of transforming...with love...the enemy of self-confidence into a friend in need...of love...rather than an enemy to fear.

A GIFT FOR YOU

Integrity Prayer W' tea light candle

KEEP ME ALIGNED TO MY INTEGRITY FOR THAT IS THE GATEWAY TO MY SOUL
I FORGIVE MYSELF AND THOSE WHO HURT ME IN MY PAST
MY AUTHENTICITY IS MY TRUTH NOT THE LIES I HAVE INHERENTED
I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY TO NOT ALLOW MY TRUMOURS AND THE NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES
I HAVE BEEN THROUGH TO EFFECT MY ABILTY TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT
I UNDERSTAND THAT IF I ALLOW MY FEARS TO SABOTAGE MY CONFIDENCE
IT WILL CAUSE WOUNDS ON MY FUTURE EXPERIENCES AND ACHIEVMENTS
I WILL MAINTAIN MY INTEGRITY LIKE MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT
WITH THIS I CONTINUE TO ENRICH MYSELF AND OTHERS ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFFE

NITHYANANDA (Be blissful)

Say it with passion, Feel the self compassion and release when you say this, breathe in and out a few times to reconnect with with you heart centre. Only the energy that is going to elevate you will remain. You have just matured like fine wine! continue this prayer keeping you strong, focused and motivated.

Love & Light

Sereena Al Noor