For many women, first dates can be nerve-wracking affairs in which we try to balance looking effortlessly ‘perfect’ while seeming serenely comfortable. However, the contradiction between how we feel...nerve-wracked and self-conscious...and how we wish to appear...confident and comfortable...makes us feel inwardly unsettled and outwardly awkward.
One particular friend of mine...a visually beautiful woman (she knows who she is - although specific elements of her story has been disguised for reasons of confidentiality) was eagerly awaiting her first date in months. However, two days prior to the actual date, her son has wacked her in the face with a piece of Lego, causing a cut on the bridge of her nose. It wasn’t a nasty cut though...it was healing rapidly, and could easily be concealed with a minimum of make-up.
Nevertheless, for many women, this would be seen as a disaster because it feeds into an already existing anxiety about how we look. Yes, we know that men are more visually-oriented than we are...at least initially. For example, they may become easily fixated on a woman’s butt, her breasts, toes or whatever. And yes, men can be mightily turned-off too by anything from a bulging belly to bingo wings. But to a barely visible cut on the bridge of a woman’s nose?
Do we seriously believe men are that shallow? Clearly my friend does...and by the same token, I can certainly see why many men believe women are somewhat lacking in the ‘ability to reason dept’! I mean, look at what my friend had to lose...a date with a potential life-partner over a slight cut on the bridge of her nose! This is absolutely absurd! The whole situation could be handled quite differently if she considers the following possibilities:
This was my advice to my beautiful friend. There is no need for her to ‘protect’ herself from the judgement of others...if she does; the universe would send her situations confirming her need to do so. In other words, if you obsessively think about avoiding negative situations, they will come a-knocking furiously at your door! Instead, focus on love, support and compassion, and the universe shall repay you in kind!
(c) Salnoor 2016